To the Editor:

Now that I am 75, perfect strangers have taken to yelling at me out of the blue. 

Like the other day on Pease’s Point Way in Edgartown, I’m biking south on my recumbent. At Clevelandtown I get lucky, tailing behind 2 pedestrians to get across the intersection. Some whippersnapper stuck in the opposite lane calls out: “You jackass, you just broke 3 laws!” 

For the life of me I can think of only 2 – that I may have bent a little. But 3? Wow, what a marvelously effective way to help make the world a safer place whilst idling there in traffic.

I bite my tongue and roll on, not wanting to soil a beautiful ride.

A couple days later I’m in my old Tacoma at the 4-way stop half a block from home. With no cars in sight, I begin to turn left just when a pipsqueak pulls his shiny red Camry in and goes all Lenny Bruce on me: “You #@%*&^! idiot, you’re an @*&^%$#! Where’d you learn how to drive?”

Why, in Buffalo…. Thanks for asking. I used to steal mom’s Lark and drive around picking up hitchhikers, asking if they had a license since I only had my permit. No one ever turned down the lift, and we all arrived in one piece.

Listen up, people – get over yourselves! I’ve got my license now. I’ve paid my dues. I don’t want to hear it. 

Tom Pallas
Vineyard Haven