If you’re a fan of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel you’ll probably recognize a certain comedian played by the wonderful, Luke Kirby.

Lenny Bruce was a comedian and political satirist who held nothing back. His comedy was on the nose and sparred no one. His stand-up routine was vulgar which garnered him lots of attention.

If you miss the wise-cracking comedian or just want to revisit some of his hilarious quotes, you’re in luck. We found them all!

The Best Lenny Bruce Quotes

• “Life is a four-letter word.”

• “If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.”

• “I’ll die young, but it’s like kissing God.”

• “Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.”

• “Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.”

• “If you can’t say “Fuck” you can’t say, “Fuck the government.”

• “If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.”

• “I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.”

Hilarious Lenny Bruce Quotes

• “Communism is like one big phone company.”

• “There are never enough ‘I love you’s.”

• “The ‘what should be’ never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no ‘what should be,’ there is only what is.”

• “I’m not a comedian. And I’m not sick. The world is sick, and I’m the doctor. I’m a surgeon with a scalpel for false values.”

• “I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.”

• “The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.”

• “I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do.”

• “A lot of people say to me, ‘Why did you kill Christ?’ I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.”

Lenny Bruce Quotes

• “Today, I give my daughter what I really didn’t have as a kid: all the silly, dumb, extravagant, frilly, nonfunctional toys I can force on her. She probably wants an encyclopedia.”

• “Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”

• “The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.”

• “In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.”

• “The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour – ha ha ha ha ha – they’ll take you away, man. You can’t.”

• “The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.”

• “There’s a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can’t make any bread helping the poor.”

• “It’s the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.”

• “The “what should be” never did exist, but people keep tying to live up to it. There is no “what should be,” there is only what it is.”

• “Just because some jackass is an Atheist doesn’t mean that his prophets and Gods are any less false.”

• “If you live in New York, then, whether you’re a hundred times a Catholic, you’re still a Jew.”

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going…

What’s your favorite Lenny Bruce quote? We want to know!

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